06 October 08 The Battle of the Cockroach

Battle Field

 Yesterday was a busy day. I got a lot of photography work done. I visited with some of the kids and adults in the area and I finished the book I was reading. I never got around to dinner until about 7:00 pm.

I did the dishes and decided to take my bath and go to bed and listen to BBC. The only fan I have is a ceiling fan in my bed room and I love laying on my bed with ribbons of cool air fluttering over my body from it. It’s even better just after I have had a bath. So I was psyched to get clean and relax. I had my towel wrapped around me and went into the bathroom to get the bucket. I wanted to put my “four scoops” of water in it. I leaned down and saw  A HUGE BUG. IT WAS A COCKROACH. IN MY BATH BUCKET!

First I ran screaming from the bathroom and closed the door with emphasis.  Then I remembered I am a Peace Corps Volunteer and I signed up for hardship. So no bath tonight. I can sacrifice. NO. Where’s that independant spirit? I can do this. So I went for the can of bug spray. It was empty the last time I used it but I was hoping for some settling or condensation or anything so I did not have to do hand to hand combat with this Cockroach monster. I located it in the back of my closet. Shook it with all hope and prayer. NOTHING.

Still I headed into the bathroom again. Armed with and empty can of bug spray is better than not armed at all. I held my towel on with my left hand and  I aimed the spray into the bucket and fired. Nothing came out but the cockroach jumped around in the bucket at the noise. I made it to the door before I gather my courage again and went back to the bucket. I held the front of my towel tight with my left hand and  I picked up the bucket with my right hand. Tipped it away from me. No cockroaches flying into my face thank you very much.  Then took the bucket to the door and gently tossed it outside. NOT! I threw that sucker as far away from my front door as I could.

57 uses for Heinz 57

 
57 uses for Heinz 57

I left the buck

et outside. Closed my outer door. Closed my screen door and heaved a sigh of relief. Then something jumped on the screen and OH NO the cockroach was on the screen door INSIDE. It must have jumped out of the bucket. I ran for the nearest heavy object – a bottle of ketchup. I wacked that bug only to miss and have it jump onto the floor. I started to wack at the floor with the bottle but then imagined the glass bottle hitting the cement floor and ketchup splattered everywhere. The cockroach jumped again.

Ok so I screamed again. And ran to the bedroom. Closed the door so the cockroach would not get in the bedroom. I readjusted my towel. I looked at my shoes. Were are my hardsoled winter boots when I need them. All I had was sandles. ewe what if I stomped and the roach jumped up on my foot. So I took my sandal off my right foot and put a sock on it. Hey cotton between me and a cockroach is better than a cockroach on my bare foot. Then I took my right Teva (they have the thickest soles.) and put it on my right foot. Then I went out with ketchup bottle and my right foot as weapons.

Where was that bug? I held the towel with my left hand and shined the phone flashlight wiht the other hand. I looked and looked   everywhere. I finally found it in a corner behind a chair. But my nerve left me. There was no way I was going to step on that thing. Then it jumped again. I grabbed the nearest thing  – a book. I know I am a librarian. Books are sacred.  So you must know how desperate the situation was for me to grab a book. I threw the book onto the floor and luckily onto the roach. With my right foot I stomped the book once. Well really three times. Then I lifted the book.

It was still moving. Crawling along the floor. I knew I was close to winning the battle and in very little danger of it flying at me so I searched for another weapon to finish him off. I took my small side table. Removed the cloth and turned it upside down. I smashed it down on the roach. Better to overkill I thought. I kicked the table into the corner and stomped on it. Using my armored right  foot of course.

Then I went back to the bedroom to regroup.  No live cockroach in the house now. Good thing. bucket somewhere in my yard in the dark. Not so good thing. Me in only a towel Even more not so good. Well it was dark so I went out to get my bucket.  I know you might be thinking that another cockroach was in the bucket but I retrieved the bucket without incident and without anyone seeing me in my towel.

When I came back into the house I decided I could not deal with the clean up so I just left the debris of the battle as it lay. Tomorrow would be soon enough to clean it up.  I bathed. Listened to BBC and went to sleep.

When I woke up the first thing I wanted to do was to take pictures of the battle ground and of my kill. The battle ground was still the same but the roach had disappeared but for one wing. I know he was dead so now I am worried about some bug in my house that would eat a cockroach. It’s gotta be grosser than a cockroach to eat a cockroach don’t you think?  I will sleep with my right sock and Teva by the bed and the ketchup bottle handy.

-vc