State of Suspension

Hanging here  suspended between Connecticut and Ghana I feel just a little bit unreal. My life here is winding down. At work I am passing off my duties. I am telling people to have another person work with them on a project because I won’t be there to follow through. I cleaned some of my desk today. I am there but no longer really of the library.

The physical things here don’t mean as much. I am already detached from half the shoes in my closet. Yet the minutes with family and friends are filled with so many emotions. I wonder how can I leave this friend she’s going through such a hard time right now. I think oh how can I miss all the wonderful things this other friend will experience in the next couple of years. I think how much my granddaughter will grow when I am away. The moments with people are filled with joy, sadness, guilt, happiness, laughter, love and excitement.

I am poised on the edge of a very high diving board primed to jump but the starting shot has not been fired, yet.

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